I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
