is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
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Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
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Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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