I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
