Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
