I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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