Soap is not a condiment
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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