So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
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All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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