I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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