I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
this hospital has no fireball
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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