He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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