If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
