Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
