I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
