i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
