She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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