you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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