Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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