butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
