I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
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He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
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See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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