If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
