god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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