It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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