I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
