I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
