no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
