my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
