i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
