oh god the rape fog is back!
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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