Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
