Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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