And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
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Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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