just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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