Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
