I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
