Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
