You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
