That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
