if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
