She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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