I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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