just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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