guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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