went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
