I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
the liver wants what the liver wants
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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