I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
