Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
