Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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