If that was your dad, he is hot
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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