i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
