I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
