Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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