Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
