Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
