oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
