I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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