i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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