i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
