Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
