I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
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If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's blow job season.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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