he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
