Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
