I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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