May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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