I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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