I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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