It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
