You work out of a Hotel?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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